My heart is full today as I reflect upon the lives of 3 precious children and their families. It is full with the mixed emotions of love and happiness, concern and sadness. Each one of these little lives is in the midst of huge change in their world. I've been talking with God, both thanking and praising Him, and imploring Him to intervene.
...I am thinking about the toddler girl in Haiti who is meeting our friends, her future adoptive parents.
...I am thinking of the 7 year old Taiwanese girl now living in America with her forever family, the girl who was almost our own.
...I am thinking of the heartbroken 9 year old boy and his dad, who may be losing each other.
One of these situations brings great joy! One a mixture of happiness and concern. And the other brings sadness with a little "dare we hope" mixed in.
Umm not awkward at all. Not a bit emotionally demanding, intimidating, exhausting or confusing (for both child and parents). No big deal, because it's not like heads and hearts are full of emotions trying to grasp the enormity of the situation. And besides, it's not like the social worker will be writing a report whether or not to recommend the couple to become parents to this little girl or not. Ugg. Double ugg. Oh how I feel for my friends! (psst! this is what we will be doing with W, hopefully before the end of winter)
Adoption is an amazing, beautiful thing. It is God's idea, in fact. But adoption is also borne from pain and loss. Something awful happened in a child's life to create the need for her to be adopted. Therefore, creating a healthy bond takes time. Building true attachment takes even more time. Hurts don't heal overnight and trust develops with time after time, after time, after time, etc. So now imagine trying to start this journey of connecting with your future child..with an audience.
I say all of this to ask for prayer for my friends. Please pray for God to strengthen and sustain them, to give them wisdom and peace. Please pray for this sweet toddler as she tries to comprehend who these people are and why they have entered her life. Pray that the seeds of trust and love would be planted deep within her heart...so that one day when my friends return for their daughter, she will be ready to start the forever family journey with them. God chose this little girl for their family a year ago (no, before time began), and I believe that He is working out all the details. He is creating beauty from ashes!
About the 7 year old Taiwanese girl I mentioned... I found out yesterday that she finally got her forever family a few months ago. Before that she was being raised in a home for HIV and AIDS patients. Beautiful, smart, funny, sweet little girl, longing for a family...long overlooked due to her diagnosis of HIV+. Why is this little girl significant? She is significant because our family almost adopted her.Yes, in 2012 "Jane" almost became a Johnson. She would have practically been Noelle's twin, as their birthdays are only 3 days apart, and their size and physical features are also similar. A Taiwanese friend and orphan care/adoption advocate contacted us in early 2012 to tell us about a little girl that lived in the care center where she worked. She dearly loved (loves!) "Jane" and wanted to know if we would be interested in adopting her. Loooooong story short, we did end up starting the process to adopt her. We told very few family members and friends, as we hoped to get further into the process before we shared the news. We were also debating how to share her HIV+ status with people. We had educated and prepared ourselves for raising a child with HIV, but were aware that this reality could be difficult for some to understand or accept.
Note: HIV is actually a chronic condition rather than a dreaded disease. It is very manageable condition that is treated with daily medications. People who properly manage their condition live long, full and healthy lives,,,AND it is essentially impossible to pass the disease along to others even in close family interactions.
About 4 months into praying and hoping and saving and staring at her photo, we had to come to the recognition that God was calling us in another direction. It was sad and disappointing for us to pull out of the adoption (yes, there were tears), but we knew God was working out a bigger plan both for her and for our family.
So...yesterday I was thrilled that our friend in Taiwan contacted me to say that "Jane" is home with a forever family in the U.S., is happy and doing extremely well. I got to see some photos with her and her 3 brothers--so cute! And ok, I cried some, but happy tears this time. Even better, she was evaluated by doctors here in the States and was recently determined that she does not have HIV! Well, Hallelujah and Glory to Jesus!!
As for the 9 year old boy... G. G is the 9 year old son a friend of mine named B. Well, truly, B started out as a coffee customer of mine about 3 1/2 years ago (at my previous part time coffee shop "gig" and now at my current "gig") but "regular customer" quickly turned into "friend" for me and another Christian co-worker. The story is that B has pretty much raised G since babyhood. G's mother is quite familiar with the "inner" workings of the criminal justice system, and B was the bail bondsman on her case. Here's the catch-- G is not B's son. B saw a messed up mama and a needy baby and stepped in. These fellas are truly father and son, as much as I am mother to my daughters. B has been the loving, stable person in this boy's life, all his life. He has been fighting for custody for years, as G's bio mom runs from trouble to trouble, in and out of jail. Last year, her poor life choices finally caught up with her...she is going to federal prison for several years. B thought that now, surely now, he would be granted custody of this boy. He had gotten his life right (doing his best to walk with Jesus) a year or so ago. G was doing so well with him during their part time living arrangements. The few family members left in bio mom's life had shown a complete lack of interest in G. Being granted permanent custody seemed like a no-brainer.
The official custody hearing was this morning.
When B walked into the coffee shop, he looked like a beaten man. I was making a drink at the espresso machine at that moment, so all I could say was, "What?.. What?.." B couldn't speak. He merely repeatedly shook his head. I could not believe it! Talk about messed up, unjust, wrong decision by the judge!
Some time later I was able to speak with B. He said that G was in custody of the state and would presumably enter the foster care system. One word for these fellas, my little friend and my grown up friend--heartbreak.
OK bloggy friends...Eric and I have prayed with B for many months about this situation and are praying even more now. Will you join me? I know God cares about G and B and their future! Let us pray that true justice will win for this boy who needs a family, and this man, who loves Jesus, and wants to be that family!
I told you this post was an emotional one. I'm sorry if I've been a downer here at the end (lots of other things to praise God for, tho!). I just want to get ya'll involved in praying for these 3 situations. Thank you. Love you guys! ~Jennifer
Oh my, this is very discouraging! Well definitely some praises too!
ReplyDeleteIn general, the family law system, at least in Tennessee, is flawed. I am thoroughly disgusted with the legal system. Bureaucratic red tape and overloaded case workers/attorneys results in brokenness and troubled lives. Our God is bigger than all of that! All we can pray is that we will grow stronger by the trials and learn patience and faith! I pray for emotional healing and faith to bring you through this time. I love you guys!